Last year I did a lot of amazing things that I never thought I was capable of.
1) I decided I wanted to step up my CrossFit training and find out what my body actually looked like under there, so I entered Randal Setzler's 30 Days to Shredded program (with Brian, who I had never been brave enough to work out beside). I dedicated myself to true Paleo zoning and working out 5x/week. I felt amazing.
2) Because I was feeling invincible, I decided I would continue the 30 Days to Shredded programming and do the the most terrifying thing I could think of next: a fitness competition. I chose Iron Belle, a women’s only weightlifting and Crossfit challenge. Many things happened that made me want to quit — my partner had to pull out, my back was killing me, I was afraid — but somehow I made it through. I finished in 18th place (LOL!) and hit a personal record (PR) of a 95 lb. clean & jerk!
3) I made a goal to go to Greece, a place I have always dreamed of, even though I couldn’t afford it and I had never planned an international trip. Turns out, I’m basically a badass at international trip planning, you can live on half of your salary for a couple months to save for vacation, and Greece was everything I imagined and more. I turned 29 in Athens with the love of my life after the best week of my life! I was on top of the world.
…and then we came home.
After months of really hard training and being more disciplined than I have ever been, I was so happy to reward myself with bread! Sugar! Waffles! Margaritas! To say thanks to myself for all that hard work, I also decided to take some time off from the gym! Everything was awesome! I looked great! I was still on vacation high!
Then I settled back into the stress of work, the stress of bills, the ease of eating whatever I wanted instead of weighing and recording food, sleeping in, skipping workouts — and I created about 1,000 different excuses about why I deserved that. I’d go through spurts where I really missed my workouts and the girls in my class and I’d go back to CrossFit for a month or two — I always felt better then. Just when I’d get back in my groove, I’d find a new excuse: my work was too demanding, I started school, CrossFit was too expensive, I felt like my life was too scheduled, etc. Finally, I stopped going altogether.
Today, I feel more fat than fit. My body fat percentage has gone up significantly and I’ve gained enough weight to need new clothes. I’m not sleeping as well, I’m irritable more often, and my nightmares are out of control. These are small things in the grand scheme— #1stworldproblems, I know— but they are startling reminders to me of how different I felt at almost 200 pounds. I never want to get there again.
So, great wide internet, friends who think I am more disciplined than I am, I needed to say: I fell off the wagon after vacation. In fact, I fell so far off the wagon I have literally been living under the wagon hoarding french toast and curly fries since September 2012. Ain’t nobody got time for that!
Earlier this month, I eased back into CrossFit with the amazing Karen Pierce, who coaches me Monday & Wednesday mornings in CrossFit’s Relentless Bootcamps. She’s been a patient and amazing leader and I look forward to adding more days, lifting heavy again, and finding a rhythm I can stick to with my food. I’ve been taking little steps to get back to where I want to be, but I know I have a lot of work to do.
I want to be able to be an example of discipline and consistency — not of emotional eating and hiding from things that are scary. Here’s to transparency, positive thinking, and making progress instead of excuses.
This Saturday, I had the great pleasure of participating in Girlstart’s Girls in STEM conference! Our team from EA consisted of:
We led 3 one-hour workshops titled “Gaming Adventures” for 4th-6th grade girls. We started with introductions and talking with girls about what we do at EA! (I’ve attached the deck we used.) Then we explained the goal of the workshop and the rules – essentially, each team of students was tasked with creating their own game prototypes. They had to create a game title, main character, rules of the game, and a game environment and present their finished product to the group. The most creative game team from each session won EA messenger bags (and we hope to have their games on display at the studio)! I was so impressed by the initiative, creative ideas, and teamwork I saw from these girls! They were truly inspiring!
Winners from our 1st workshop! This team’s game was called “Starships” and had the tagline, “Try don’t die!”
Winners from our 2nd workshop! This team’s game was called “Polar Bears vs. Penguins,” and you had to make it through the world of polar bears to enter the more “girly” world of penguins and glitter!
Winners from our 3rd workshop! This team created “Trapped!”, a game where you must make it through various levels of a tower in 60 seconds (without falling off into the lava on either side)! 1st rule: don’t get caught by the fire-blowing snake!
“Help Sue & Mike get to the moon. (Watch out for asteroids.)” Great game advice from one of our teams!
There were lots of space-themed games in the workshop!
Another awesome game, “Girls’ Career: A Girl’s Life”. To win, you have to progress through several levels – math, engineering, science, and reading – to get a career! Note: this game is only $5.99! LOL
A survey one of the girls filled out after our workshop:
Pretty powerful stuff!